Souls Redemption
by Platinum Angel1
Summary: Saifuu and implied Squafuu. Seifer's been sober for five years, what pushes him over the edge? Rated R for possible lime/lemon in following chapters, and language.
1. Reflect

Souls Redemption:  
  
How long had it been since she'd seen him drunk, three, no . . . five years? It didn't really matter; everyone has a bad day or two, right? He'd been sober for years; she supposed he was granted one night of fun. It didn't matter how enraged he got when he was drunk, it didn't matter how many swings he took at her when she cursed at him for his stupidity, it never mattered how many times he actually did hit her, because it was always a mistake. That sad psychotic look he always got in his eyes was enough to give her nightmares for weeks upon end, but it didn't matter anymore, because he had gotten help. No more one in the morning phone calls from the local bar, no more forcing him to abandon his shot of whiskey for the bartender to "suck through his dirty lips", no more fighting about wasting money needed for bills, no more bruises on her wrists and abusive glares from those angry eyes that could beat her skin red with just on glare. No, he wasn't like that anymore, he'd gotten help. Even if he was drunk off his ass when she found him, he wouldn't do those things again, he was a changed man.  
  
So why had her close and personal friend the bartender called her to come retrieve him?  
  
Fujin stepped through the large wooden doors of "Tom's Tavern" and ran her eyes frantically across the dim lit room. The thick smoke of cigarettes and Hyne knows what else enshrouded the people inside. Had she not known where he used to sit and drown himself in vodka and rum, it would have taken her ages to find him. But she brought her gaze to the one and only place he would be located, in his usual seat. He always sat four seats from the wall, though she never knew the real reason why, in his drunken state he would tell her that the drinks "tasted better there". She watched him for a moment, narrowing her eyes as he brought a small glass to his lips and poured the contents into his mouth hastily. She had never been much for drinking, but had always drank with him when he requested, obeying everything he said, like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver. For a long while she did think of him that way, her life preserver, the very air she breathed. But all of that changed when she saw him as the man he looked like now, broken and unsure, not even knowing how to save himself, let alone someone else.  
  
Fujin walked closer, past the jeers and grabbing hands of the other lost souls, feeling less sympathy for them than the soul she watched after. He wasn't one of them, he was a great man with dreams and goals, and was only misdirected here by past failures that he had overcome. He will overcome this eventually.  
  
She hesitantly sat down beside him, and glared at the bartender, who sheepishly grinned.  
  
"What?" He retorted innocently "I can't turn away my all time best customer, it's about time he showed his face back here to see good 'ole Tom again, right brother!" The older man slapped the elated gentleman on the shoulder, and laughed hilariously. Fujin glared at the old man and then turned to her friend.  
  
"Ya here that Fuu. Brother. Tom an' I we're like family." The man slurred and raised his shot glass, with a crooked smile on his face. "Ain't that right Tom?" He laughed, as he drained the liquid more quickly than before. The old man brought another bottle foreword, and tried to fill the glass again, but Fujin brought a pale hand up to cover the glass. "ENOUGH.HOW MUCH OWE?"  
  
"Aw, c'mon Fuu, that's no way to treat family! Don't bark at him!" Fujin cursed the man and shoved the glass back to the bartender.  
  
"Yeah Seifer, there's something to be proud of, the bartender regards you as family. Alright, you've had your fun, lets go back home."  
  
Seifer scoffed at her, and grabbed the glass back, like a starving person would grab for a crumb of bread. "I don't have a home, I have a prison! Why don't you go the hell away, you're acting like a fucking Seed! You aren't my mother for Hyne's sake." Fujin rolled her eyes, and ran her hand over her face in annoyance. This would be a long night.  
  
"No Seifer, I'm not your mother, I'm your friend. And as your friend, I'm telling you to get your drunken ass up and get back to the hotel!" She stood up and crossed her arms, waiting for him to move.  
  
"Ha! She just want's you to go back so she can call you daddy!" The bartender laughed at his own joke, causing Seifer to chuckle. Tom poured more whiskey into Seifer's shot glass.  
  
"Want me to bend you over my knee Fuu? Actually, I've had you on your knees a couple of times . . ." Seifer sniggered evilly, and brought the glass to his lips again, making the content disappear just as it had before. Fujin's cheeks turned a deep crimson, causing Tom and a couple of on-lookers to laugh hysterically.  
  
Seifer spun around on his stool and faced her smiling that sly trademark Almasy smile that she always wanted to rip off of his face. He was one of the only men she knew who could successfully insult and embarrass her while extremely drunk. He could always hold his alcohol well.  
  
"No guys, that's not true. Our Fujin here is a lady, she'd never touch anything as tainted as me." His emerald eyes connected with her crimson orb momentarily, before he spun back around to face Tom. He whispered almost inaudibly, as he raised his glass for another fill. "She's too pure." Fujin's eyes watered, finally knowing why he was here, and thinking she should have known all along.  
  
"I'm no hero, huh Fuu? Never have been never will be. Guess that's just not your type. But hell who can blame you." Seifer spun back around to face her, and swirled the amber liquid in the glass around idly, while staring at her intently. Her eyes pleaded with him, begged him to stop, which was exactly what he had wanted. He smirked and spoke to everyone in the bar that was listening, while still staring into her crimson orb.  
  
"Anyone want to hear the story? The story of a broken knight who changed for a girl who wouldn't even give him the time of day after? Anyone?" He stood from his stool and flailed his arms flamboyantly, careful to not spill any of his drink.  
  
"Fujin here's a real card. She's a saint really." He shook his head and the smile disappeared from his face, as he said the words as more of a curse than a compliment. "A real fucking angel." He stood closer to her, the heavy scent of alcohol on his breath. "Who knew my angel would go and fuck Squall Leonhart, guess she's more into losers than I though." He smiled again, as if the comment about Squall had emotionally damaged her.  
  
"Seifer just stop okay, lets just leave." Her voice wavered, as she kept her gaze locked with his. If she looked away, he would know she was upset, and she didn't want that. She didn't want to lose any form of battle to Seifer, no matter how drunk he was and how meaningless it would be to win. He noted the change in her voice, and raised his head boldly, staring down at her.  
  
"Stop, ha, I haven't even begun yet." He paced around her, and then sat back down at his chair. "Can I get another glass here Tom, lets give Fujin here a drink, for old times sake." Tom pulled another glass out from behind the bar, and filled it to the brim with the tawny liquor. Seifer picked it up clumsily, and motioned to Fujin to retrieve it, but she made no advancement. Seifer just laughed and set it back down on the bar.  
  
"Figures you wouldn't accept anything that I give to you. If it were Leonhart's hand that touched this glass, you would've jumped all over it." He drew the glass closer to himself, saving it for later.  
  
"Should I tell 'em Fujin? Should I tell them the whole story? How you slept with my enemy while I was held in that mother-fucking jail, going to psychiatrists and AA meetings, and all because of him! Should I tell them about how you cried on my shoulder when you found out he was still with that whore Rinoa and was just using you for a little action? Should I tell them about how I paid for the abortion that you had when you were pregnant with his child! Dammit Fujin, you really do have quite a few dirty secrets." He laughed a little, and clenched the small glass between his ashen fingers.  
  
"And then I come to you and you just . . . push me away like I'm not even worthy. Ha, isn't that the way it's always been. I'm not even worthy enough to lick the mud off of Leonhart's boots, let alone fuck a member of his harem." Seifer silenced, and grabbed both of the shot glasses in front of him, drinking them one after the other. He listened quietly, as he heard the sound of muffled sobs, and steel-toed boots running out of the bar. He stared at the empty glasses, and Tom brought the bottle of whiskey foreword, asking for permission to fill another glass. Seifer shook his head, and rubbed his blurry eyes with his trembling hand.  
  
"I'm done Tom, I'm all done with this." He pulled himself off of the stool, and reached into his pocket, stumbling with his wallet. "How much do I owe you?" He pulled a few curagas from his stocked magic and reluctantly healed himself so he could at least see straight. "What a waste of gil" he said quietly to himself, as he started to pull money out of his wallet. The old man observed Seifer, who wearily emptied his wallet on the table, assuming that he had drank away his entire life savings. Tom shook his head, and just grabbed a couple hundred from the pile.  
  
"That's all you owe me sonny, just go back home, alright? No more trouble tonight." Seifer nodded and made his way out of the bar. He pushed past all of the drunken men, sad and ashamed of their own flaws and mistakes. They were the only family that would ever truly understand him. The ones that would chase away their pain with whiskey and gin and feel elated for a night, instead of somber. Just as his hand touched the door, another hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him roughly. Tom stared at the boy woefully, and shook his head.  
  
"Seifer, don't you dare show up in this place again. I can't have you falling off the wagon when you've . . . I mean I had no idea it was so-" Tom stopped, feeling slightly ashamed for letting the boy drink so much. "Well, just keep your life on track alright. Maybe you'll be able to work things out with Fujin and-" Seifer cut him off, as he opened the door and stepped outside.  
  
"She doesn't want me Tom, she want's someone with a soul, and I've obviously lost mine." He turned, and walked away, leaving the old man to sell the soulless a substance to replace their pride. ************************************************************************  
  
A/N: Well, that was . . . interesting in it's own unique way. I don't know what I'm doing starting this, it's not like I don't have three other chapter stories I'm working on. Yes, I might write another chapter, if you guys think it's worthy. Maybe there will even be a prequel . . . anyway if you want more, read and review. 


	2. Love Thy Enemy

Souls Redemption:  
  
Love Thy Enemy  
  
Fujin wandered aimlessly through the streets of Timber, watching children play gleefully in the gigantic snow banks. She remembered vaguely that time of innocence; she never really had a childhood. Like many of the children in the orphanage, she had grown up too fast, and missed out on life before responsibility. The other children in the orphanage had been dreamers though, they all were able to sink away in their world of play, and Seifer was one of them. He was a dreamer, a golden child who no matter how sorrowful life had been, he would always look past it. Fujin could never do that, and found that she was so . . . different. There hadn't been anyone like her at the orphanage, except for Squall Leonhart.  
  
Which was why she was so attracted to the man when she had seen him in Winhill six years ago. She had just left Seifer in the Dollet rehab center a few days before, and went to Winhill to visit Rajin and keep her mind off Seifer. She had felt guilty for leaving him there, partially because he had yelled and screamed at her before she left, saying that he would never forgive her. The staff said that it was a normal reaction, but Fujin still felt as if she had betrayed him. They had convinced Fujin to go on a vacation for a while, and they would take her hotel number and leave it up to him if he wanted to call anyone when he was permitted. Which was why she went to Winhill, to visit her old friend and keep her mind off Seifer. Unfortunately, Rajin went back to Garden to pursue his Seed Diploma without telling anyone. So there she was, alone during the time when she needed a friend the most.  
  
Winhill was a pretty boring town without anyone to talk to, so the only thing she could think of doing was going to the local restaurant and having a drink (the very thing that put her friend in the position he was in). It was there, in the small dim lit room that she saw him, sitting in his own booth, just as lonesome as she was. It hadn't been long before he noticed her, and came over to sit down beside her.  
  
They talked late into the night about everything, from Squall's new job as Headmaster at Garden to Fujin's problems with Seifer. He told her all about his break up with Rinoa, and how she was so needy and self centered. He asked her a few times about her relationship with Seifer, if they had been dating. She was amazed at how open he was and how truly interested he was in hearing about her life. Finally, around midnight, he walked her back to her hotel (which was actually his hotel also, there's only one hotel in Winhill). Fujin could still remember the conversation . . .  
  
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"So . . . Seifer's supposed to call you tonight?" Squall leaned on the wall near her door, and put a hand on his hip.  
  
"Well, he's not 'supposed' to, if he wants to then he can call. But I'm not sure as if he'll ever want to talk to me again." She fumbled with her key, and Squall smiled, taking it from her and unlocking the door.  
  
"He'll understand someday Fujin, you're just trying to be a good friend. Even though Seifer is an asshole, he's not completely ignorant." Fujin shook her head at him, and opened the door a crack.  
  
"You don't know him like I know him Squall, he's not as bad as you think. He can be really . . . nice . . . when he wants to be." She stepped inside and he grabbed hold of her wrist gently.  
  
"Oh, so you're idea of nice is getting drunk all of the time and then trying to beat you up? Fujin I think you need a reality check." She let her gaze fall to the ground, and then stated boldly.  
  
"He cares for me, he's the only person that gives a damn whether I'm dead or alive. Or at least he used to." A tear escaped her crimson eye, and Squall brought a hand to her cheek, bringing her gaze back up to meet his steel-blue stare.  
  
"That's not true Fujin, he's not the only one who cares. A lot of people care, you just have to open up to them." She could have lost herself in those blue eyes, so deep and intense. Squall had so much stored up in his mind, so many things that Fujin wanted to know and experience; he was an enigma to her.  
  
She was surprised when she noticed him stepping closer, his hot breath flowing onto her lips. She had forgotten all about their past, how many times they had fought against each other, she forgot how he was the only person that would make Seifer cringe when mentioned. She forgot how the solider in front of her pleading for clearance had stripped Seifer of his pride and emotion. She forgot everything, and took his lips in hers, and kissed him mercilessly. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and both made their way into the room clumsily, stripping their clothing off desperately.  
  
The rest of the night had been a blur of sweet ecstasy, the feel of Squall's velvety skin slick with sweat against her own, the feel of his strong hands possessing every inch of her body, his smooth lips and sweet caresses, Fujin still shuddered when she thought about it. He had been the only man she had ever been with, Squall Leonhart, the untamable Lion, the worlds hero, was her first lover. She had always thought that Seifer would be the one to gain that position, but times were changing, she was changing, and she was falling in love with the only man that she shouldn't have spoken to in the first place.  
  
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Fujin and Squall had spent almost a year together. Fujin bought her own apartment in Winhill, and Squall went back to Garden, and visited her on weekends. It was the perfect relationship. Fujin thought everything was okay, and Squall made her believe it. It never occurred to her that there was something going on behind the perfect mask, at least not until Seifer called her.  
  
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*Flashback*  
  
The phone rang, one late Friday night. Fujin never expected it to be Seifer on the other end.  
  
"Hey Fujin, how's Squall?" His voice sounded angry and hurt. She had betrayed him; she had gotten involved with the one person he absolutely abhorred. She couldn't answer him; it was as if she had forgotten how to speak.  
  
"Rajin told me about it weeks ago. I just had to let myself cool down before I called you and got all emotional and shit." He was still angry, but with good reason. She was still at a loss for words, so Seifer took advantage and talked some more.  
  
"Well now that I have your attention, I'm on my way to your apartment."  
  
"YOU'RE WHAT?"  
  
"Yeah, they let me out early, I'm cured, it's a miracle." The sarcasm in his voice scared her.  
  
"What, did you escape?"  
  
"No, they really let me out. But that's not the main point of this discussion. Get dressed or whatever, we're going to Dollet."  
  
"We're going to Dollet? What in Hyne's name for?"  
  
"I've got something to show you. I can't tell you because you won't believe me. You'll have to see it to believe it." Fujin rolled her eyes and sat down on her bed.  
  
"Seifer, I don't think so. How do I know you're not going to try and kill me?" He chuckled a little, and then became serious again.  
  
"Well first of all, I'm not drunk. Second of all I wouldn't want you to die before seeing this. You can trust me Fujin, which is more than I can say about you. At least I care about my friend's feelings . . . never mind, lets not get into that right now. So are you gonna come with me or what?"  
  
"Fine, when will you be here?"  
  
"In about ten minutes."  
  
"Ten minutes?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm on a cell phone right now. Well, I'll see you soon. We'll have plenty of time to talk on the way to Dollet." Then he hung up, without waiting for a reply.  
  
When she first saw him, she wanted to run up and hug him, and tell him how much she missed him, but this was the wrong situation for such things. He was a little skinnier than he had been before, but not much. His blonde hair was also a little longer, and his green eyes lacked that certain spark that they used to have. Just seeing him made her feel guilty.  
  
They actually didn't even speak on the way to Dollet. The only words that were exchanged were just before they got into Seifer's rented car.  
  
"Fujin" He stopped her, grabbing her wrist gently, not like the times he had before, when he meant to hurt her.  
  
"Do you love him?" She was shocked by the question, but she wasn't going to lie to him again, no matter how much the truth would anger him. She looked him in the eye, her vivid crimson orb meeting his empty jade eyes.  
  
"Yes." Her answer was blunt, and straight to the point, the only way to deal with Seifer. She was surprised though, when he let go of her wrist and looked away with water brimming his eyes, walking to his side of the car, and sliding in without another word.  
  
They sat silent for the rest of their journey through the darkened plains, exchanging only glances. Seifer's eyes looked to her wearily, and a few tears slid down his cheek now and then. He tried to brush them away before she noticed, but each time he failed. The muscles in his face would clench as he tried to fight his emotions, and he would press his lips together, holding back words he was never able to say. Fujin sat silent beside him, just praying that the trip would be over soon.  
  
When they reached Dollet, Seifer parked on a dark street near a line of apartment buildings. He stepped out of the car, and Fujin followed reluctantly. He motioned towards a lit window, and beckoned her to follow. They were about to approach the window, when Seifer turned around and looked at her, with tears on his face.  
  
"Fujin, ya gotta know before I show you this. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm trying to prevent you from getting hurt, you understand?" She just nodded in agreement. He shook his head, and quickly reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace.  
  
"Promise that we'll be friends after this, alright Fuu? No matter how much this messes things up, promise that you won't hold it against me. I mean, I'm really mad at you for what's happened, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be friends with you. I'm doing this for you okay?" She didn't know how to respond, so she just ran a pale hand through his hair and pulled away.  
  
"You never have to worry about that Seifer. No matter what, we'll always be friends, you have my word." He looked at her, and nodded, and hesitantly pulled her towards the window.  
  
She peered inside, and almost screamed at what she saw. It was Squall and Rinoa, cuddled up on a couch watching TV together. They were talking, laughing, kissing. She was paralyzed.  
  
So many questions flooded her mind. 'What? When? How? Why?' She was too shocked to think to answer them. Her heart shattered into millions of pieces, as she watched them together. They acted as if they had been together for months, probably the whole time Fujin had been with him. Her own face became stained with tears. She had been betrayed by the man she had given her soul to, the man who she had betrayed her own friend for, was cheating on her with the very woman that seemed to cause every stressful situation in her life.  
  
Seifer grabbed her shoulder, and pulled her away from the window reluctantly. He loved to let her see what a scumbag Squall actually was, that he was no better than himself. But he hated to see her hurt. For as long as he could remember, he had always hated to see her distressed, even if he was the one who inflicted it, it always bothered him to see her hurt. He pulled her close, and whispered comforts in her ear as she sobbed on his shoulder.  
  
"It's ok Fujin . . . you'll be all right . . ." He stroked her platinum hair lovingly with his hand, and held her tighter.  
  
"I thought he . . . I . . ." but the words failed to escape her. Fujin had never felt so lost, so used.  
  
Seifer couldn't help but feel overjoyed when he saw her reaction. Now she'd know how he felt. Now she'd know how hurt he was when he heard the news of her covert relationship. She'd know the pain of crying for days upon end, of feeling used and tossed aside. She would know the pain he had from her breaking his heart. Yet he felt miserable that either of them had to experience it. Nothing had gone right for them in their lives, everything they worked for, strived to achieve, and loved, were the very things that tortured them.  
  
"Let's go back to your apartment Fuu . . . c'mon . . . we'll deal with this later." He pulled away from her and grabbed her small hand, pulling her to the car. He opened her door and helped her inside.  
  
The car ride was yet again uneventful, except for the roles of the broken were reversed. Fujin drew her legs to her chest and sobbed uncontrollably all the way to Winhill, while Seifer observed in awe. Never had he seen her cry this much, not even when he had abused her relentlessly. He had never drawn a single tear from her until that fateful day she put him into rehab. He was surprised to see something that he believed Fujin would find so trivial, upset her so deeply. She had never been the type to fall in love; he knew that from personal experience.  
  
It was almost like watching your life-long hero being defeated, or discovering cocaine in your mother's dresser drawer, disturbing and disappointing. It altered his attitude towards her in a way, seeing maybe that she wasn't as aware of the situation as he thought, that she didn't really think about the consequences of dating Squall. Maybe she had just gotten caught up in the moment, like he had with his dream. He knew how easy it was to fall into an over-whelming storm of confusion. Maybe she had fallen, and Squall, unlike him was the first thing she was able to grasp, just like his choice to follow the sorceress in Timber. He was offered a way out to safe ground. Maybe Fujin felt she had been offered the same thing.  
  
She sniffled lightly, and struggled to breathe. He couldn't help but smile lightly, thinking how ironic the whole situation was.  
  
When they pulled up to Fujin's apartment, she had been sleeping. He reached over and shook her shoulder lightly. Her platinum head lifted, and a crimson eye brimmed by redness, cracked open wearily. She looked to Seifer, and then observed where she was. She opened the car door quietly, and walked towards the entrance of her apartment. Seifer stepped out and followed silently.  
  
She pulled her keys out of her pocket, and fumbled trying to open the door. She cursed quietly, her hands were shaking so much, she could barely hold the key still long enough to line it up with the keyhole. Seifer waited patiently, he would have helped, but he didn't want to damage her ego anymore than it already was.  
  
Finally, she dropped the keys, and settled her head in her hands, sinking down to sit on the steps. She had no pride left to protect from Seifer.  
  
He bent down and picked up her keys, opening the door swiftly. He turned around, and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands away from her face, and offering her a sad smile. He actually felt sorry for her, even though he was still angry about Squall.  
  
"C'mon beautiful, lets get some rest, huh? It's almost five . . ."She nodded and stood again, still holding her friends hand as he lead her inside and shut the door.  
  
They entered her living room, and Seifer could immediately feel Squall had been there many times. He could smell him, hear him, he could practically feel his enemy standing beside him. Squall filled the room, even though his body was elsewhere, his impact still flooded the place.  
  
Fujin plopped lazily onto her blue sofa, and yawned loudly. Even though she was emotionally distraught, she couldn't help but think of sleep. Seifer sat down beside her, and eyed her awkwardly as she scooted closer and rested her head on his chest.  
  
"Seifer . . . I'm sorry . . . I-" He hushed her by placing a bronzed finger to her pale lips.  
  
"I've already forgiven you, there's no need to apologize." Silence passed between them, Fujin had never had so many raw emotions exposed to a person. She couldn't help but become overwhelmed once again, and she began to cry lightly.  
  
"Why don't you hate me Seifer? Why don't you hate me for what I've done to you?" He ran his fingers through her hair absentmindedly, as he contemplated the question.  
  
"I don't have the right to hate you, because I've done worse to you all of your life Fujin. I couldn't hate you anyway, I never have and I never will. Now get some sleep sweetie, we'll talk when both of us can think straight."  
  
Fujin nuzzled closer, and fell asleep in his arms.  
  
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A/N: Ok, the flashback isn't over yet. I really hate making Squall into such a jerk, but it couldn't be helped! Review if you feel like it, it makes me so happy! :) 


	3. Manipulate

You can't even imagine how I felt when she told me.  
  
It was like a thousand knives being shoved slowly into my body, like running for hours and knowing that you'll never be allowed to stop . . . it's amazing how one little phrase could break my heart into thousands of pieces. I can remember the exact way she said it, the exact way she looked when she said it, the smell of the room, the sound of rain falling outside . . . I remember it all so vividly, it's almost like I could relive it at any moment.  
  
"Seifer . . . I think I'm pregnant."  
  
She was so scared, so helpless sounding, so confused. She needed me then more than anything, so I just pushed all of my anger and hatred aside. I had to ignore the fact the Squall Leonhart had woken up next to her on countless mornings, had laid with her in his arms, that he had kissed her . . . that he had taken the most sacred part of my angel, when it should have been me holding her and kissing her and making love to her until the days and nights seemed to blend together. It should have been my child inside of her, not the child of the man that should never have even been able to touch her in the first place.  
  
I did what I had to do, a pure gentleman, pulling her into my arms like a true friend, and assuring her that it would be ok, that we would talk about it and figure things out. And we did. After only moments of discussing her options, she decided point blank, like she had known all along what she wanted to do, she was just afraid of what I would think.  
  
Now I have to admit, I was shocked that she wanted to get an abortion, I mean don't get me wrong, I love Fujin and I think the world of her, but I always thought she was stronger than that, that she would never take the easy way out. Nonetheless, I supported her, it was the only thing I could do.  
  
And oh Hyne, the trip to the clinic, that deathly silence in the car on the way over, the slight muffles coming from the passenger seat . . . along with my occasional "Are you sure about this Fuu?" and the occasionally nod of her platinum head. I can't imagine how hard it was for her, but I still just couldn't understand why she was putting herself through this, why she wouldn't just have the child and raise it as if it's father had never existed . . . or like I was the father. At that moment I was sure that I could have handled that.  
  
But when I brought her in, and kissed her forehead as the nurse came out and called her name . . . I realized that maybe I couldn't have been this child's father figure . . . what if it looked exactly like him or acted exactly like him? Could I handle another Leonhart in my life? Because that's what this child would have been, it would have been a part of Squall, something that neither Fujin nor I were ready to deal with at that point in time, in fact I knew I couldn't handle it. That's why she couldn't have this child, not only would it be a reminder of something neither of us wanted to remember, but it also had a possibility of driving me away, and I was all she had. I hate to think that I played such a large part in that decision, but I have to say that I don't really regret it. Who knows what would have happened with us if she hadn't gone through with the abortion. But still . . . I can't help but wonder what he.or she.would have been like. Images of teaching a small child to fight with a play gunblade, dressed in a similar gray trenchcoat invade my mind occasionally, and my heart breaks a little more. But then I notice that the child has spiky brown hair, and those cold steel colored eyes that have haunted me for so many years of my life, and I brush the image away like it never existed.  
  
I take it back, I do know what would have happened if she hadn't gone through with the abortion . . .  
  
I would be gone.  
  
Say what you will, I know it's better to have one person just disappear from you life then to literally kill another, but this case was . . . slightly different. Whenever Squall Leonhart is involved, circumstances are always different. The rules are twisted, morals are broken, opinions are re- formed, that's the effect that son of a bitch has on everyone and everything. Sometimes I understand why Fujin felt what she felt about him, because he can manipulate people beyond their bending point, and still manage to obtain their trust, and without even noticing he's doing it.  
  
He showed up at her apartment the day after that, after placing several unanswered calls on the answering machine. He had no idea that his secret had been leaked. Not that it really mattered to him, he had never really wanted her; he was just waiting for the moment that I found out.  
  
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Fujin was sleeping in her bedroom, emotionally and physically exhausted, while Seifer sat in the living room, packing her things away in numerous cardboard boxes.  
  
No way were they staying here anymore.  
  
He wrapped all of her fragile belongings in old newspaper, stopping momentarily on the ones that were familiar to him. He held a small glass plaque in his hand, and smiled a genuine smile, probably the first one he'd made since he got out of rehab.  
  
"Fujin Sanada, 1st place at the Garden Student/Faculty Tournament, 5073 AD"  
  
His smile grew, remembering how happy she was when she had beaten him in the finals match; her giant Cheshire cat smile always brightened his day.  
  
How long had it been since *she* had smiled?  
  
He wrapped the item gently, and placed it in the box, still smiling.  
  
It felt good to smile again.  
  
Just as he closed the box, a loud knock came to the door. He looked around quickly for his gray t-shirt, that he had absentmindedly discarded last night due to the heat in his friend's apartment, but couldn't locate it. He had been packing her things all morning; it would take him ages to find it in this mess. He shrugged his shoulders, and rushed to the door wearing nothing but his boxers. He opened it carelessly, not expecting to see the person on the other side.  
  
"Looks like you didn't waste any time Almasy. She's a good fuck huh? Just remember, I got there first." Emerald eyes became filled with a fiery rage when they met the cool, calm steel blue of Squall Leonhart's. Seifer stood in the doorway, gripping the handle on the other side with all of his strength. On any other day, he would have pulverized Squall, but any "social misconduct" would send him back to all of those psychologists, and he needed to be with Fuu right now.  
  
"What the hell do you want Leonhart? Come to kill her now?" Squall laughed, and placed his hand on his hip.  
  
"Why don't you just go away? Go crawl back to your sorceress bitch, because you're not wanted here anymore." Seifer started to close the door, but Squall's gloved hand rose and stopped it before it moved an inch.  
  
"Well Seifer, is that anyway to treat an old rival? Honestly, where's the hospitality?" He smirked, as Seifer stepped outside, and closed the door behind him.  
  
"Look Leonhart, what do you want? Don't you know your games over now? Fujin found out, it's done. She doesn't want you anymore. Leave us alone." Squall laughed, and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"I'm not here to see Fujin, I'm here to see you. I just wanted to know." Squall stopped speaking, staring at Seifer, with a small grin playing on the corner of his lip.  
  
"Wanted to know what?" Seifer raised an eyebrow quizzically. Squall's eyes narrowed, slits of silvery-blue shining delightedly glaring at Seifer.  
  
"What it feels like to know that she wanted me, and not you. I want to know how much it hurts Seifer, to have everything you've ever wanted stolen from you. This is the moment I've been waiting for my entire life, the moment when you realize that I've finally done something to you that you'll always remember, something that will always hurt. Isn't that the whole point of our rivalry? Isn't that all we've been working towards since we were five years old?"  
  
Seifer's eyes filled with more rage, and Squall was expecting an attack, but none came.  
  
"Leonhart, I've had enough of your games. I'm done with this, with you." He stepped closer, so that his face was just inches away from Squall's. "People have always thought that you were some damn saint, always trying to do what's best, what's good, what's right." He paused, smirking down at the brunette.  
  
"How pathetic they would think you were if they knew that it was all just about showing me up."  
  
Squall smiled at this, and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.  
  
"It might have been pathetic, but it worked didn't it? People think that I'm the token 'good-guy' and you're the asshole. Everything worked out as planned." He smiled, and reached down in his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, and lighting one calmly, blowing smoke in Seifer's face. The blonde stood, seemingly un-phased on the outside. On the inside, Seifer's blood was boiling in his veins.  
  
"I wish people weren't so blind, maybe they'd see that you and I are exactly the same. That day on the hill, when I gave you your scar, and you gave me mine, shouldn't they have seen your anger then? It was all about competing; all about trying to equal me, to be better than me, it was so damn obvious. Actually Squall, I think you're more of an asshole than I am, because I was never trying to make you look bad, I was just trying to keep my reputation."  
  
Squall threw the cigarette on the ground, and said with a slightly sarcastic tone. "I know, amazing isn't it? Even your best friend fell for it. . . well I guess I can call her your fuck buddy now."  
  
Seifer sneered.  
  
Don't hit him. Don't hit him. Don't hit him.  
  
"Tell me Seifer," Squall moved, and leaned up against a small space of wall next to the door. "Did she scream your name like she screams mine. It's kind of sexy, isn't it? Maybe I'll go visit her right now, you know, just for old times sake." He moved his hand to the door, but a strong, bronzed hand grabbed his wrist.  
  
"If you go near her again, no one will ever have a reason to scream your name." Seifer twisted his arm lightly, sending a surge of pain through Squall. But he ignored it, and smiled again; enjoying the anger he was getting from Seifer. He had found the one thing that Seifer loved more than himself, and was going to do anything in his power to savor the moment of torture.  
  
"Oh Seifer, are you jealous? Did you actually think that Fujin would want a failure like you?" His voice was filled with fake pity, and then a light chuckle.  
  
"Leonhart. Keep her name off of your lips until the day you die." Seifer's rage was reaching its peak.  
  
"That'll be hard, considering my lips have been on every part of her body."  
  
Squall Leonhart was a powerful man, with a powerful ability. He could manipulate people beyond their bending point. Whenever he was involved, the circumstances were always different. He could change people's morals, twist and bend the rules until everything seemed lawless and hectic. Everyone was subject to him, and Seifer Almasy was no exception.  
  
The moments passed slowly, as a powerful punch connected with Squall's face, sending crimson blood to spatter everywhere. A knee to the stomach followed, and some words that were not important soon came after. The important thing was that Squall Leonhart had gotten what he wanted from Seifer. He wanted to Seifer to reach his breaking point, and fall lower than his level. Squall had won their battle, despite the fact he was lying on the concrete steps in a small pool of his own blood.  
  
He spit the metallic tasting liquid from his mouth, and smiled again at Seifer as he pulled himself off the ground, gazing at the spots of red that spread across the blonde's chest.  
  
"Don't worry Almasy, I won't send you back to a psych ward for counseling, I'd rather see you stay here and drown in the memory of me." He walked down the steps slowly, stopping at the bottom, with his back turned.  
  
"Tell Fujin it was nothing personal, she was just a stepping stone to you. Tell her it was your fault that I did this, it was part of our sick game." He started to walk down the street a little ways, and turned back around to Seifer, his face emotionless.  
  
"Of course, don't forget to mention the fact that I won".  
  
He left Seifer standing breathless on the stairs, covered with blood, naked to the world. He had, in all truth won. He had taken everything Seifer had ever wanted, including his sweet Fujin. But the game wasn't as important to Seifer as it was to Squall, the fact that he had lost the actual game hadn't really sunken in yet, and would probably never cross his mind. It was the fact that Squall did this to Fujin because of him that bothered him, and the fact that he had lost Fujin that made a tear fall down his cheek, to mix with Squall's blood.  
  
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Authors Note; Ohhhh, Squall IS a ruthless bastard in this fic, I've never made him so cruel before. . . oh well, I actually enjoyed writing it. Sorry to all of you pro-Squall fans out there. I really do like the guy, but he just fits better in this fic as a jerk. Sorry! Anyway, if you feels so inclined as to review, it would please me greatly!!! :) 


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